Casting Superman: The Man of Steel

I took a look at Scott's (derfel85) fantasy casting list for the upcoming Superman film and my inner evil twin came out laughing. Oh boy! I could really have some fun with this one. OK, why not?

Here we go. Remember, this is not just tongue-in-cheek, but tongue-straight-down-your-throat bizarre. Well, I hope it's bizarre. Let me know if I didn't go far enough after you read this. I promise I'll try harder next time.

Superman: Anybody but Tom Welling. I know, I'm evil. Sue me.

Lois Lane: Oh my! Choices, choices. There are so many good leading ladies out there. A lot depends on how old Clark is supposed to be in the upcoming film. How about adding some spice to the deal and making Lois older for a change? I'm thinking Courteney Cox is a natural for a "cougar" role if we cast a 20 something as Superman...and at age 33 (34 next April), Welling is already too old to pull it off.

Jimmy (Jimmie) Olsen: Lindsey Lohan. Hey, who says Jimmy/Jimmie has to be a guy? Are you sexist or what?

She started out life as a natural redhead so if she can ditch the cheap bleach-blond "do", it would work. Lohan's career, not to mention her life, has been in the crapper so long, she probably feels like she's taken up permanent residence in the Los Angeles sewer system. She needs something big to get her movie career back on track and while the role of Jimmy/Jimmie isn't stellar, it's attached to a project so big that she has to be noticed. She can either pull a Robert Downey Jr. redemption out of her butt, or completely flush the rest of her life into the cesspool.

Perry White: Robert De Niro. He's played psychos, tough guys, and goofy ex-CIA agents so portraying a hard-boiled old school newspaper editor should be a breeze for him. Besides, Little Fockers is going to be so bad, that he'll need something to help pick him up off the floor after that one crashes.

Lana Lang: Christina Hendricks, who else? She's also a natural (as far as I know) redhead and she's got everything up front to grab and hold a man's attention. The only problem would be that Clark wouldn't be able to take his X-ray vision off of her D cups long enough to even notice that Lois is alive (and since Lois needs saving on a daily basis, I figure that ends her career and her life within the first 10 minutes of the film.

Jonathan and Martha Kent: I've always wanted to see Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jamie Lee Curtis team up again after watching True Lies (1994). They're about the right age (OK, they're older than about the right age) and they had fabulous chemistry together. We'll just ignore Schwarzenegger's accent like we always do in films where it is an absolute bad fit. Arnie's out of a job now that he's no longer the Governor of California so I bet he'd jump at the chance to play a Kansas farmer and adopted Dad to the most powerful man on earth. As far as Jamie Lee Curtis goes, I bet she's a really cool Mom, having done everything from Halloween to Freaky Friday (speaking of Lindsey Lohan).

Jor-El: That's a tough one. I would never have picked Marlon Brando for the role in the 1977 Superman film. I can't separate him from his roles as a dumb pug in "A Streetcar Named Desire" (1951) and "On the Waterfront" (1954) (although a comparison between "The Godfather" and Jor-El is obvious). How about Anthony Hopkins? Fresh from his role as (another) super powerful "Big Daddy" Odin in Thor (2011), I'm sure he'd be up for a substantially similar part. Besides, there isn't a role in existence that Hopkins couldn't eat with a spoon. Playing Jor-El wouldn't even make him work up a sweat.

Lex Luthor: Bruce Willis. Hey, don't laugh. OK, go ahead and laugh. He's the first bald guy that popped into my head, but what the heck, why not? At least he'd add a little muscle to Lex. The movies always pick someone less than "physical".

Brainiac: Depending on how you want to play him, I'm thinking total CGI. He is an alien cyborg or computer, depending on who you listen to. But what about the voice? Call me nostalgic, but why not Mark Hamill? Hamill was incredible as the voice of the Joker in the Batman animated series in the 90s. I'm sure he could use the work and who knows...maybe he can get Brainiac to make us laugh.

Who Killed Santa Claus?

I don't like Christmas. I don't care if you think it was the birthday of the Son of God (historically, it couldn't be), it still sucks. First there are the crowds, and then the traffic, and then the crass commercialism, and families going into debt up to their eyes to afford the latest crap on sale they think they need to give as gifts.

The really sucky part about Christmas is the assumption that it's the happiest time of the year. First of all (depending on where you live) it's cold. Where I live, it's cold and snowy (I don't like snow...bad for driving and walking), and cloudy, and foggy, and actual sunshine is on the endangered species list (darn Persephone for marrying Pluto anyway). If you are at all a moody person (I am), then having people around you expecting you to be happy and cheerful just because of the date on a calendar is even more depressing.

The image I posted at the top of this blogpost comes from several blogs, such as this one, supposedly attempting to "take back Christmas" from commercialism and return it to the birth of Christ. Of course if you are not only sick to death of commercialism but don't subscribe to the typical Christian view of the holiday, that's not exactly an improvement.

Consider this my "bah, humbug" article in defense of everyone who can't wait for January 2nd when we can legitimately tell our neighbors to take the f*cking Christmas lights off their house and save a couple of hundred dollars a day in electricity. I'm surprised we don't have Christmas blackouts because of the conspicuous power consumption.

No, I don't hate people (I'm only a little misanthropic sometimes) so if you like or even love Christmas, more power to you. Just don't expect or demand that people like me have a good time in December. I'm waiting for January or better yet, spring.

Bah, humbug!

Oh. Who killed Santa Claus. Don't look at me. You can't prove a thing. Honest. I buried the gun...uh, I mean...

Addendum: Holy crap! Photographic proof! This is who killed Santa! Found at this site.

Death Waits

Yeah, I get dark and moody sometimes, probably more often than my tweets and my blogging would suggest. Sometimes I consider all of the difficulties of living my life, the difficulties other people have living their lives, and the general course of world events (and "progressives" seem to think things are getting better and better all the time). There is one thing I take comfort in, though. Death.

I found myself thinking of how we personify death; that is, how we turn death into a person or a character in a story. I did a Google image search on "death" and came up with a complete mixed bag of graphics. Then I searched for "death personified" and among the results, came a scene from one of my favorite movies: The Seventh Seal (1957) directed by Ingmar Bergman. The summary of the film from imdb.com follows:

A Knight and his squire are home from the crusades. Black Death is sweeping their country. As they approach home, Death appears to the knight and tells him it is his time. The knight challenges Death to a chess game for his life. The Knight and Death play as the cultural turmoil envelopes the people around them as they try, in different ways, to deal with the upheaval the plague has caused.

The classic scene from the film is the knight (portrayed by Max von Sydow) playing chess with death, literally with the knight's life hanging in the balance. Throughout the film, the knight sees the devastating effects of the plague on the people of his country and how terribly they're suffering. By the end of the film, the knight loses (of course) his chess game and he, along with the other people he's met on his journey, are claimed by death and find a complete release from their suffering. The final scene of the film shows everyone dancing and following death to...where ever one goes at that point.

The same personification is approached from the opposite direction in Death Takes a Holiday (1934). This film has been remade a number of times, but the summary of the original goes like this:

Death decides to take a holiday from his usual business to see what it is like to be a mortal. Posing as Prince Sirki, he spends 3 days with Duke Lambert and his guests at his dukal estate. Several of the women are attracted to the mysterious prince, but shy away from him when they sense his true nature. But Grazia, the beautiful young woman whom the Duke thought was to marry his son, loves him even when she knows who he is.

The problem is, while death, in the guise of Prince Sirki (and played by Fredric March) studies the "human condition", largely through his affair with Grazia, no one can die. People suffer horribly. Diseases, wounds, and injuries that would normally kill a person only result in those people existing in unending agony, unable to find release from their torment in death. Ultimately, others see him for who he really is and beg him to return to his duties. Reluctantly, the identity of Prince Sirki is surrendered and death once again roams the earth, giving final comfort and peace.

In both of these films, death isn't something to be feared but rather, a comforting companion to cause all pain to end once a person's body is too old, too sick, or in too much pain to endure. Of course, if we're enjoying life, we usually prefer that death not pay us a visit any time soon, but then again, we don't always have much of a choice in the matter.

It seems most of the time, death is depicted as a man, but why couldn't death be a woman? In older Thor comic books, death was a female character. The folks at Marvel adapted the norse myth of Hel (Hela), the goddess of death. According to comicvine.com:

Hela is the daughter of Loki and the giantess Angrboda. When Hela came of age, she was appointed Ruler and Goddess of the northernmost kingdom of the dead, allowing her to rule in the realms of Hel and Niffleheim. Although her dominion was only over those who did not die as heroes, as Odin was the ruler of these in Valhalla. Still, Hela often sought to expand her kingdom by conquering Valhalla as well which often brought Hela into direct conflict with both Odin and his son Thor. On one occasion, Hela attempted to persuade Thor into entering Valhalla when he was on the verge of death, although he eventually refused. Hela also entered into an uneasy alliance with the other Death Gods of Earth.

A vaguely similar comic book character is Lady Death who, depending on the version, is an outright villain, a mortal woman transformed to a supernatural being by a spell and destined to fight and overthrow Lucifer, or a somewhat more noble character, also under a spell and who battles darkness in a medieval-like world (one where she's not always in a bikini).

None of those images are my ideal female "death", and I imagine a personified death to be a supernatural and final lover; someone who embraces you, not in lust, but in intimacy (and what's more intimate than death) in your final hour. I suppose we all want death to appear in a pleasing shape, but the fact that we personify death at all means we want it on our terms.

Death isn't something we can have our way. It's not a person or a force...it just is...and it waits...for everyone.

Afterword: I realized after I published this blog post that, if I could pick any actress to play death in a film, it would be Angelina Jolie. Ironic that her now husband Brad Pitt played death in the movie Meet Joe Black. Jolie would have done a much better job and have brought the true "presence" of death to the screen.

Smallville: The Dating Show

I sometimes forget that Smallville is a science fiction/adventure show about a young visitor from another planet who, through numerous life experiences, is progressing his way towards becoming the world's greatest hero. If I blink and miss the superpowered part, I'd probably assume I'm watching a teenage romance show. When I see some of tweets Smallville fans post on twitter, I'm sure of it.

It seems like there's some sort of obsession about which characters should hook up with which characters among the fans. While the relationship between Clark (our resident alien) and Lois is classic within the Superman mythos, many other relationships have suggested themselves and in fact, have played out over the years. I want to put all that aside for one moment and have a little fun. What about the relationships that were never mentioned? Why haven't we gotten more adventurous? Is there an underlying or hidden subplot we've been missing all this time?

Clark and Lex

You have to admit, it seems sort of obvious. They had a tight friendship from the very beginning, and keep in mind, when they first met, Lex was in his early 20s and Clark was 15 years old. I can see it now. Older, wealthy, charsimatic man entices young, naive high school student into his posh love nest. Admit it. This has crossed your mind, too.

Clark and Ollie

I know that both of the characters and the actors who play them are straight, but some of these photos make it look otherwise. Ollie is about Lex's age, so the same age dynamic fits, but they met later in life, when Clark was a bit more mature (and had already made his way through Lana). Of course, while money can't buy happiness, it can buy plenty of pleasure and I'm sure Ollie knows how to show a boy a good time. After all. There must be some reason all of Ollie's (cute name) relationships with women go south.

Lois and Tess

When I saw Lois and Tess rolling around on top of each other while on the floor of the basement of the Daily Planet (right before Lois was transported to the future at the end of Season 8), I said to myself, "Things could really get interesting, here". Unfortunately, Lois had the bad sense to put on the time-travelling Legion flight ring and ruin my fantasy, but back to the analysis.

Both Tess and Lois are dynamic, strong personalities so it would be a contest to see who would be able to dominate who. Tess is older and more devious, but did you check out that dominatrix outfit Lois was sporting when she took on Darkseid (and lost) earlier this season? Wow! She fit the role a little too well.

Kara

Speaking of dominatrix, remember the outfit Clark's cousin was wearing in the Phantom Zone? It just screams "spank me" leather. I know Clark and Kara are cousins but seriously...I'd hit that.

While I was searching for the appropriate images for my blog post, I came across this "Girls of Smallville" graphic at popart.com that I couldn't resist inserting. Can you guess who's who?

I hope Smallville doesn't get too mired in the whole romance/sex subplots on their way to turning Clark Kent into Superman. I know there are more than few fans who watch the show especially for its romantic (and shirtless) elements and frankly, I like seeing Lois in a tight dress too, but this is a show about Superman. Say it with me: "Superman". When he's called the "Man of Steel", that's not an invitation to look at Clark's crotch. Up, up, and away.

The Dark Dreams of the Sandman

I've been spending some time reading a series of graphic novels that collectively are called Sandman Mystery Theatre. This is a darker, detective noir version of the original DC Comics Sandman who is generally associated with the Justice Society of America. The original "theatre" series ran for 70 issues between 1993 and 1999 and targets an adult audience (due to themes such as extreme violence and sexual sequences among others). I wasn't aware of the series during the original run but am consumed with it now.

First off, I'm kind of a sucker both for the genre and for the period (1930s). OK, America just coming out of the depression and about to go into World War II was no bed of roses, but there is a certain romance, at least in the fictionalized version of the period, that is very attractive. If you don't believe me, go watch Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) again.

Wesley Dodds (the Sandman's alter ego) has been reshaped into a more reclusive, slightly portly image of the original hero. While he still wears a World War I vintage gas mask, he traded in his costume for a trench coat and more resembles the H.G. Wells version of The Invisible Man (film 1933). While Dodds is friendly, if a bit odd, the Sandman is down right mysterious and a little scary.

His relationship with Dian Belmont, daughter of the New York City District Attorney is (according to Wikipedia, anyway) reminiscent of the relationship between Nick and Nora Charles in The Thin Man films. Actually, I don't find their relationship to have the same sort of bantering humor as Nick and Nora have in the Thin Man movie series. For one thing, Wesley is always plagued by the dreams that drive him to wear the mask and pursue some of the most gruesome murders in the annals of fiction. Also, Dian is at once a flighty socialite and a pissy wench, the latter due to her not quite understanding why Wesley has to be the Sandman.

Reading Sandman Mystery Theatre is definitely a way to pursue your darker side and on that level, I'm thoroughly enjoying this series. Of course, if you tend to be the brooding type anyway, you might find yourself feeling a little too dark. The separation between 1939 and now helps to keep the reader from becoming completely sucked in, but topics such as cannibalism, rape, racism, Nazis and lots and lots of murder can prey on the mind.

On the one hand, I could see this being done as a great mystery/noir/period movie, but on the other hand, done badly, it would end up as just another flop in the vein of The Shadow (1994) and The Phantom (1996).

A more conventional and modernized version of the Sandman was briefly seen in the Smallville Season 9 episode Absolute Justice but it only offered the audience a brief taste of the character (although Hawkman and Dr. Fate were well portrayed). I thought that Absolute Justice was one of the finest Smallville episodes ever aired which, to my way of thinking, indicates that the Sandman and his JSA companions could have a future on television. I'd like the Sandman Mystery Theatre rendition to end up in a TV show or film, but I may have to settle (maybe) for a JSA TV show instead.

In the meantime, I've got a few more "novels" to read in the series and perhaps some evening after putting down the book and turning out the light, I'll have my own "dark dreams".

Halloween Fantasies: The Women

Yesterday I asked if I should include a blog post for women in Halloween costumes. After a resounding silence, I figured, "what the heck". Keep in mind that, unlike the previous blog post that depicted my fantasies about costumes I'd like to wear (if I was built for it), this blog contains my fantasies for costumes I'd like to see women wear (if they have the bodies for it). Consider this blog post definitely not "PC".

Harley Quinn

Harley is my favorite bad girl. I know, Catwoman has a lot more class, but Harley just seems really fun...when she's not trying to kill you. This is a fantasy and, in real life, I'd drop Harley like an angry rattlesnake and start running, but in the safety of my imagination, I think she's really HAWT. Found a pic of a model in costume that I think shows how the Harley costume would appear in real life.

I found something else at the Fan Art Exhibit blog. Apparently, there was an online April Fool's gag that depicted actress Kristen Bell made up as Harley for a supposed appearence in The Dark Knight (2008) . I don't think Bell's Harley looks as fun as the one from the Batman animated series, though. She seems kind of sad. Makes you want to take her under your (Bat) wing, doesn't it?

Supergirl

What can I say? Supergirl is one of the ultimate sex fantasies for Superhero fan boys. Smallville fans have come to think of actress Laura Vandervoort as the Supergirl, but she has many incarnations. The one thing I don't understand is how you're expected to read the "S" on her chest with all of the "distortion"?

Power Girl

Even more than Supergirl, to pull off this costume takes quite a set of "attributes" not possessed by most women. After all, how can a woman be so big on top and so thin elsewhere? It's like expecting a real life woman to have the proportions of a Barbie doll or Jessica Rabbit. It just can't be done. At least Supergirl has a more or less realistic frame that could be attained by a human being (with a lot of exercise and dieting). Nevertheless, she remains a popular male fantasy.

Batgirl

There are so many versions of Batgirl, I don't know where to begin, but I decided on the version that has the most mystery while still retaining the male fantasy factor. As you can see, this Batgirl has had an encounter with the Huntress (supposedly the daughter of Batman and Catwoman) and guess who didn't win the battle?

I couldn't find a pic of a Batgirl costume on a live model I felt gave a satisfying appearance and that was also printable on my blog (no pr0n, please), so you'll have to be satisfied with the graphic.

I know, I know. So many other fantasy super women to choose from. Catwoman and Wonder Woman are obvious favorites, which is probably why I decided not to include them (except for the brief homage to Selena below). Frankly, just about every woman in costume these days sports at least C-cup sized breasts which is amazing considering how they don't seem to get in the way during a fight. They also have waists that are supernaturally thin, so it's hard to believe these women even eat (though, by definition, they do burn a lot of calories during their various battles and jumping around buildings and such). Another woman who could have appeared here was the slave girl Leia from Return of the Jedi (1983), but based on Carrie Fisher's admission of using cocaine on the set of The Empire Strikes Back (1980), one wonders if the body of the bikini clad Leia was crafted less by workouts with a trainer and more by "nose candy".

That's it for now. Choose your favorite costume and go for it this Sunday. Happy. Have fun.

Halloween Fantasies

Who do you want to be when you grow up...uh, that is, who do you want to be for Halloween? I guess I should ask, what sort of costume do you want to have for Halloween? If you're into the superhero, science fiction, or fantasy genres, chances are, who you'd like to be would look totally lame in real life. Let's face it, unless you've hit Gold's Gym every day for the past ten years and have been a food nazi about your diet for the same amount of time, your body isn't perfect. That means you're going to have some bulges and lumps in that skin tight superhero costume where you don't want to have them.

That said, this is a blog about fantasies and dreams, not real life. Here, you can be anything and do anything. Here's my wish list for Halloween costumes. Don't worry. All of them are fantasies. No way I could pull this off in reality.

Superman

No, I don't mean the modern incarnations of the Man of Steel. I want to dress up as the old George Reeves Superman. Here's the trick. I want to do it in black and white. I once saw a photo of a group of Santa Clauses on parade. All of them were in color except one, who was totally black and white. Naturally I thought it was PhotoShopped, but then I found out the actor dressed in a graytone costume and had her (yeah, a thin, hot, female Santa) skin painted. She looked completely like a black and white photo but the color was real. That's how I'd like to show up as the Last Son of Krypton...like Superman in film noir.

Moon Knight

Moon Knight is one of the lesser known Marvel superheroes but I think he's completely underrated. For one thing, the guy has three different identities, actually four including his hero persona (rich guy, cab driver, mercenary, and Moon Knight). Not only that, but he's an Egyptian god's avatar on Earth, which isn't always a good thing. Yeah, it would be tough to pull off a totally white costume as an "avenger-by-night" (and not look like a Klan member), but the look and the identity are so totally awesome that it would be fantastic for Halloween (and remember, we're talking total fantasy, here).

The Sandman

There are so many different versions of The Sandman, but in this case, I'm talking about the 1930s alter ego of Wesley Dodds, a reclusive entrepreneur who by night, enters the realm of pulp fiction in the manner of The Shadow and the Phantom as a figure of dark mystery to fight crime and corruption in pre-World War II New York. Sure, the mask makes him look like the Elephant Man, but if you get past that, he's scary as hell if you encounter him suddenly in a dark room, he talks in mysterious riddles, and in the Sandman Mystery Theatre series, he leaves origami calling cards.

Halloween fantasies. Got one? Let's hear about it.

Oh, and should I do a Halloween fantasy costume blog post for women? Just asking.

Happy Time Travel Day!

For those of you who may have missed it, October 26th is official Time Travel Day. In fact, today marks the 25th anniversary of the first trip in time, at least by a Delorean fitted with the flux capacitor invented by the now famous Dr. Emmett "Doc" Brown.

In the original Back to the Future (1985) film, Marty is accidentally sent back in time over 30 years on October 26th, 1985. That makes today the 25th anniversary of Marty's trip. Of course, Doc's dog Einstein makes the first trip in time to exactly one minute into the future, but Marty is the first human time traveler. For 25 years, Marty, Doc, Jennifer, and a score of others have been entertaining us with warmth, humor, and adventure as they get themselves into and out of the messes caused by having access to a time machine. And we wouldn't have it any other way.



So hop in your Deloreans, get ready to speed up to 88 miles per hour, and we can all meet and party in 1999, just for giggles.

Oh, another anniversary is fast approaching. On November 5th, 1955, Marty arrived as the first time traveler to visit the past in the Doc's Delorean. That'll make November 5th this year the 55th anniversary of this event. Of course, it's also the day Doc Brown invented time travel.

Anyone up for partying at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance?

Batteries Not Included

OK, that phrase has been used, but I just got my first look at the new Power Battery design for the upcoming Green Lantern (2011) film thanks to ComicBookMovie.com and I must say I think it sucks. Sure, films aren't obligated to stick very tightly to the original comic book designs and in many cases (such as Batman's costume) they definitely shouldn't. On the other hand, the producers of the Green Lantern film don't seem to mind trying to impose their version of "alien" on the rest of us, as first revealed in the costume design, while rolling way over the top of what seems to look even reasonably heroic.

I've posted the current film version of the battery (upper left) along with the classic version (middle right), plus Kyle Raynor's power battery (bottom). I can understand that the original comic book design probably looks too Terrestrial for a modern film, but I'd have preferred the "alien-ness" of Kyle's battery over what the film designers finally came up with. What do you think?

Smallville Homecoming: Time Warp Factor 10

I just read KryptonSite's Advanced Review of tonight's Smallville episode Homecoming. It's against the rules for me to quote from KryptonSite's review, but I came away with the distinct impression that "Homecoming" will be Smallville's attempt to wrap up the ten year journey from Clark Kent to Superman in a nice package with a bow. I don't mean to be frivolous in my comments. Let me explain.

Ten years is a long time. When Smallville first launched, there was no way to guarantee that the show would last more than a few seasons. In the early days, was there really a long-term plan for plot and character development? There have no doubt been changes of course over the span of the series. It might be hard to keep track of everything, particularly for the fans.

Enter "Homecoming". Now that the end of the series is certain, just about everyone involved with the show, from the fans, to the cast, to the production crew, must be reflecting back over the last ten years and what they're supposed to mean. Was it just a really fun and lucrative ride that's now about over, or has something enduring been created? What does it all amount to?

That's what Homecoming is about...a way, not only to track the key events of the past ten years, but to see how they'll come out in their ultimate and logical conclusion...from awkward high school student Clark Kent, to Superman, the Man of Steel; the Last Son of Krypton. KryptonSite's review is very positive, which is a good thing after last week's disappointing Supergirl episode. We need to believe that Season 10 will be among the best and that the show will end as well as it began.

I won't tip my hand to even the spoilers revealed by KryptonSite, but one of the major characters I was hoping would show up in this retrospective won't be present. I can only hope this means a surprise reappearence later this season. The one thing I want this experience to give Clark (thanks to Brainiac 5), is a clearer sense of purpose and a reduction or maybe even elimination of his doubts. It's crunch time. He puts on the costume in less than a year. He can't afford to keep moping around if he hopes to face Darkseid and defeat him. The battle isn't Kara's...it's Superman's.

To Heck with Zod! Kneel Before Kal-El

I know, I know. It's probably been done, but I just thought it would be a fun image to put together and I found the right font. Bet the ladies will really like it.

Supergirl? Not So Much

Ubergirl? Power Girl? Annoying Girl? What the heck was Laura Vandervoort doing on Smallville, anyway?

It's not that I don't think she's attractive or a good fit for the Kara/Supergirl role, but Smallville's recent episode Supergirl seemed like a jumbled mess.

OK, I get that Darkseid has come to Earth (though in a radically different form than in the comic books) to cause havoc and generally be a pain in the neck, but when did Jor-El suddenly start being Kara's promotional manager and turning over the safety of our planet to her?

Clark has been on Earth all his life. He knows who humans are. He knows what sort of hero we need. Kara grew up on Krypton and spent most of Clark's life in suspended animation at the bottom of a lake. She's had at most just a couple of years of experience with Earth and with people, and now she's an expert?

Also, Jor-El usually tells Clark when he's blowing him off and usually does something nasty like take away his powers, just to prove that dead guys still have pull. It must have been really painful to hear from your bratty blonde cousin that "Daddy doesn't love you anymore."

The writing seemed very inconsistent in the episode. The return of Lois to Metropolis and to Clark seemed more understated than it should have been. True, Lois was in fine form (literally) when she went after possessed "shock jock" Gordon Godfrey. She's normally that much of a pit bull and I have to admit, just dumb enough not to run with the pictures while the bad guy is still in handcuffs. I even liked the kinky outfit she chose to model, but it all seemed just a little too contrived. Does Darkseid really need to blow off some steam at the local S & M club while he's planning on taking over the world?

The whole "Kara bracelet repelling Darkseid" thing seemed to belong in a Saturday morning cartoon rather than a prime-time science fiction/fantasy program. Again, contrived. Oh, and why are both Kara and Lois (Lois?) "pure of heart" but not Super Boy Scout Clark? Don't tell me that Lois doesn't have conflicts and doubts and if Kara just came back from an unsuccessful trip to find her Mom, how can she not be experiencing internal conflicts and issues?

I can understand, given her "mission", why Kara would choose a costume to "perform" in public, but how did she end up at a photo shoot modeling the thing? She had time to go to a modeling agency, convince them to promote her, and do a shoot of Metropolis's latest superhero? That entire sequence was amazingly lame and designed only to show off her rather fabulous body. In other words, "eye candy filler" (not that I'm above such things, but it really contributed nothing to the story).

Hooray! Clark flew! Boo! It lasted about five seconds. Kara acts like it's some sort of Zen exercise to fly. It's just like any other power. He just has an Earth person's fear of falling, even though he's fallen plenty of times and knows it won't hurt.

Kara acts more like Jor-El than Kara, being punitive of Clark rather than trying to relate. It does make sense to have them both team up to defeat Darkseid. Bracelet aside, she might not be able to beat him alone.

Oh. Linda Lee Danvers. Clark Kent in drag. Laura Vandervoort looked like she was wearing a wig, fake glasses, and a frumpy costume straight out of wardrobe. I wasn't convinced for a second that she was a "real" person. No one else would be either. So much for having a "secret identity".

About the best part of the episode was the Green Arrow subplot. I know a lot of fans didn't like Ollie's presence and felt it was a distraction, but he was meant to mirror Clark's own doubts. Both Clark and Ollie were expressing worries and concerns about "working in the shadows" and the distrust the public has over "masked vigilantes" operating in Metropolis. Lois acted as the fulcrum between the two heroes and by the end of the episode, they had each chosen different directions. Clark will remain an unknown face as "the Blur", while Oliver at a press conference at the end of the episode declares, "I am Green Arrow".

The only "incredible" part of the GA subplot is how all of the reporters instantly believed Ollie was telling the truth. He didn't even produce his GA costume, bow, and trick arrows. It reminded me both of Tony Stark's (Robert Downey Jr) admission at the end of the first Iron Man film and of Harvey Dent's (Aaron Eckhart) "confession", "I am the Batman". Yeah, in the latter case, he was lying, but the reporters bought it then, too.

I watched Supergirl knowing it was panned in the reviews, but when you're a fan, you watch even the bad episodes, looking for a glimmer of hope.

Dear Smallville writers. We need a better episode next time, gang.

Is This Guy Clark Kent?

Look at the guy on the comic book page and then look below at the guy in the photo. Look closely. See the resemblance? Is it the same guy? Remember, Clark Kent is NOT Pretty!