Halloween Fantasies: The Women 2011

Last year at about this time, I published my most popular (by number of visits) post, Halloween Fantasies: The Women. It was a "response" to my own Halloween fantasies and costumes I'd like to wear (assuming I had the body for it) on Halloween. Naturally, they all have a superhero theme. I thought that since hot women in costume seem to be a really sought after topic, I'd repeat my "success" of last year.

The first entry isn't exactly "hot" but it is interesting. I found this image at Wikipedia under Mxyzptlk's Superwoman (scroll down). The storyline doesn't look that compelling and I'm not interested at all in "Superlad", but Superwoman and Batwoman definitely look like my kind of fantasy.

Of course, I've always been a sucker for a superhero with a busted secret identity. I have no idea what the deal is behind this "revealing" pose for Supergirl, but it definitely got my attention. I wonder how she'll get out of this mess or at least, get out of something.

Wonder Woman is probably the most obvious superhero fantasy for most guys but I've always thought she was kind of overkill. First of all, women with boobs that big probably just can't fight. Those triple-Ds would always be getting in the way. WW's real power over men would be the fact that, the minute she showed up, all the straight guys would just be paralyzed with lust and completely distracted by her cleavage.

I found an interesting pic of her at scifiwright.com (there a lots of compelling images here) with WW at the subject on the cover of Rolling Stones magazine. It's another secret identity switch that makes me think Diana's best power is when she changes clothes. The parallel image is one that really goes with the previous paragraph. Oh my but how in the world could she fight or do just about anything that requires movement without a serious wardrobe malfunction?

The last in my series of super women for Halloween 2011 is of Mystique from the original X-men films (as opposed to the reboot). What really "makes" Mystique for me isn't the costume but actress Rebecca Romijn. Not only is she classically beautiful, in costume or out, but standing at almost six feet tall, she is every tall (or short) man's dream woman. She's got legs.

Happy Halloween.

Oh, click on the images to see their original sizes.

Success is Temporary, Failure is Temporary, Leave Me Alone!

It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.
-George S. Patton

If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.
-St. Clement of Alexandra

We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

That's a small sampling from a motivational quotes website. Gee. Charming.

We're in a new year. 2011 is supposed to be better and brighter and more wonderful than 2010.

Bullshit.

Oh, I can't say that it won't be in absolute terms. I don't have a crystal ball or any other way to see into the future. But just because it's early January doesn't mean that the New Year is full of promise only because most of the year hasn't happened yet. I mean, with each new year, everyone thinks it's going to be great. But is that how the year turns out?

Just look at last year. Try to remember the beginning of 2010. Obama was President (still is). Pelosi was the Speaker of the House (now she's not). The "progressives" were in charge of everything and we all know that means everything that changes, changes for the better (as defined by a bunch of politicians and myopic optimists). How many people died in Afghanistan and Iraq? How many suicide bombings were there in the Middle East? How many people died in car accidents? How many little kids were diagnosed with cancer? How many people are out of work? Homeless? Sick? Dying?

Yes, I'm grumpy. I'm grumpy because, like Christmas, everyone expects you to feel a certain way, as if it's the only way to feel, just because of a date on a calendar. Also, all these motivational people, sites, and sayings make just tons and tons of assumptions about people. If you aren't actually motivated by their popular drivel, then you're bad or evil or something. After all, these people make money by being motivational, so how dare you fail to be motivated by them. What they really want is to motivate you to give them your money.

How about an example of motivational drivel. Let's take a look at one popular motivational phrase:

Success isn't permanent, and failure isn't fatal.
-Mike Ditka US football player & coach

I'll totally buy the first part. No matter how well you do at something, it doesn't last. Just look at actors and politicians. No matter how good your last movie was, the next one could suck. No matter how many promises you made on the campaign trail that got you elected, your actions once you get in office will not always be popular (look how far Obama has fallen in the "popularity polls").

Failure isn't fatal. Well, that depends. If we're talking about skydiving or bungie cord jumping, then failure can damn well be fatal. If you're Superman, Batman, or Green Lantern and some series of bad guys are always trying to kill you, failure can almost assuredly be fatal.

But most of us don't have life threatening hobbies or happen to be superheroes, so no, failing won't really kill us.

It will just make us feel like we want to be dead.

Your boss always wants you to be successful at work (productive, whatever). Your boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, lover, spouse, mutant parasite wants you to always be successful in attending to their wants, needs, and desires. The credit card company wants you to be successful in paying your bills on time. Everybody wants you to be universally successful and will punish you in varying ways and in varying degrees if you fail.

No, it won't kill you, but you'll wish you were dead.

I've noticed that motivational phrases, websites, and people rarely provide practical advice, they just ramble off pie-in-the-sky platitudes. They're like comic book characters. Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman all have perfect bodies. Except for Batman, you never see them dieting or working out to achieve and maintain those bodies. They just have them. Success and failure are fictional illustions that happen on pages of paper covered with ink. While they can be inspirations, they also can point out that, by comparision, our little lives are pretty dull, boring, and our problems, though not on a magnificent scale most of the time, aren't very easy to solve (nor as dramatically solved).

So next time those of you who produce your motivational books and websites get the bright idea to give some advice to the rest of us, come down to earth first. Learn what it feels like to live with chronic depression or some sort of physical disability. Find out what it's like to have few friends, to live on a budget (a small one), to struggle to pay bills, to disappoint your spouse, to be called "a failure".

Success isn't permanent but failure is a label that, once stuck to your back with super glue, hangs on in your reputation and in your emotions for a long, long time.

Bite me, motivational people.

Who Should Appear in Smallville Season 10?

I suppose I could write a review of the Season 10 opener for Smallville just like everyone else but, face it, I don't want to be like everyone else. I suppose that's why I don't give a rats about Chlois, Clana, ClChloe, ClLex, Cl_whatever. For those of you who need to be emotionally enthralled with who Clark's in bed with, good on you, but it's not why I watch Smallville.

Rather than a review, I'll write about the other topic that Smallville fans are all over (no, not Michael Rosenbaum returning as Lex). I'm talking about what characters I'd like to see appear or return to Smallville.

I watch Smallville because I like the Superman legend and I like what the Smallville writers, producers, and actors have done to tweak the canon. I've been a long time Superman fan (you have no idea how long), so I love seeing references in Smallville that appeared in Superman related comics years or even decades ago. I'm kind of a trivia junkie, so that sort of stuff appeals to me.

So who do I want to appear in Smallville? Keep in mind that my wish list is completely unrealistic and has virtually no hope of being fulfilled for legal, contractual, and a jillion other reasons. I'm just doing this for the fun of it.

Lex Luthor

I figured I'd go with the obvious one first. Yes, I do want Michael Rosenbaum to return to Smallville as Lex. He did a fantastic job over eight years of slowly moving Lex into the dark side of himself. There were times I wanted to kill Lex and other times I was hoping he'd come out on top. He's an interesting and complex "bad guy" and Rosenbaum did a fabulous job in the role. I know he doesn't want to go through the rest of his life shaving his head, but if he comes back for the final season, it would be the icing on the cake.

Lana Lang

Actually, I find Lana kind of whiny and annoying, but I'd love to see "Kryptonite Girl" make a reappearance. I'd also love to know what she's been up to with her super powers lately. Although she's now deadly to Clark, she would come in handy if he were threatened by other Kryptonian baddies. Probably not much help against Darkseid, though.

Hal Jordan

Here's where the lack of realism starts. There's no way WB will bring a young, pre-Green Lantern Hal Jordan into Smallville, but a Hal Jordan/Oliver Queen team-up would so rock!

Bruce Wayne

Again, WB isn't going to bring a pre-Batman Wayne into Smallville. I'm not sure how the timeline would even work since "now", Batman should exist in Gotham City. Totally off the radar, but seeing Clark and Bruce in a "World's Finest" meet would be terrific.

The Justice Society

We know that Carter and Shayera Hall (Hol?) will be showing up with Lois in Egypt in the next Smallville episode, Shield, but what about other Society members? The original Green Lantern was a guy named Alan Scott. If Hal Jordan can't make an appearance, how about Scott's Green Lantern?

Wonder Woman

Actress Lynda Carter (TV's Wonder Woman from the 1970s) appeared on Smallville in 2007 as Moira Sullivan, Chloe's mother, but how about a new, young, smoking hot Wonder Woman or even a Diana, Princess of Paradise Island, fresh in this country and before the (skin tight) costume and invisible plane (she could have the golden lasso)? It would make my night!

The Martian Manhunter

I'd like to see John Jones again. He's a good "wingman" for Clark and well as a wise and pragmatic mentor. If at all possible, I'd love for his powers to return. Something tells me that when Darkseid cuts loose, Clark's going to need all the help he can get.

I've already heard that John Glover will be reprising his role as Lionel Luthor for the very last two episodes of the series. I take it as a foregone conclusion that the Justice League members will be coming back sometime during this season, if for no other reason than to get revenge for Oliver's torture and to rescue Chloe. It looks like Annette O'Toole will be returning as Martha Kent and her real life husband Michael McKean will be returning as Perry White (Editor-in-Chief of the Daily Planet?). Everyone knows that Laura Vandervoort is returning for the 200th episode of Smallville, Supergirl as both Kara (Supergirl) and Linda Lee Danvers.

I think James Masters is returning to Smallville from the 31st century as Brainiac 5, perhaps along with the Legion of Superheroes, and that will be interesting. Can we trust version 5 when versions 1 and 2 were such a tremendous pain?

That was my A list. If a B list shows up in my imagination, I'll let you know. How about you? Is there anyone you want to see come to or come back to Smallville that I missed?

Super Control Freak

This is probably one of the reasons why people like superheroes and want to be a superhero...control. In The Empire Strikes Back, Yoda chides Luke, "Control! Control! You must learn control!" Luke "feels" the force, but he can't control it to get the desired result. In many ways, we're striving for the same goal: control over our environment and our lives so that we can get the desired result.

Maybe your favorite hero can tell you something about yourself and your goals. Let's look at just a few:

Superman. Except for kryptonite and magic, Superman is vulnerable to very few things. True, he has his limitations, at least as compared to the Silver Age Superman who could move planets through space just by pushing them, but he's still the strongest guy around. Superman is often depicted as a "savior-like" character from another planet come to Earth to save us from ourselves, but I've known people who see him as just an extension of our desire to solve our problems by overwhelming them with force.

If something is in your way, you can just push it out of the way, crash through it, burn through it or fly over it. No need to be subtle. All that power and muscle and a bright blue and red suit can let you do just about anything.

I'm not trying to capture the essense of Superman as such, but the more "obvious" reasons why we want to be like Superman...few things can hurt us and we can knock over just about anything. No worries.

Green Lantern. Like Superman, he's kind of a boy scout. "No evil shall escape my sight". The original GL Corps was a bunch of interstellar police officers assigned by the Guardians to enforce whatever "law" the little blue guys decided to apply to the various space sectors within their jurisdiction. If you're rule bound and want to overcome "lawlessness" with will and a "magic" ring, then GL is the hero for you.

Batman. Definitely not a boy scout, but still has the same idea. Overwhelm lawlessness with force...and be scary doing it. Instead of wearing a bright costume and working by the light of day, if you want to be as dark or darker than whatever you want to control, Batman is your hero. You've got all the money in the world but you're never happy. There's always that secret hurt you nurse inside. Rather than seeking help and getting past the pain, it's the pain that drives you to do amazing and sometimes sinister things. You are probably one of the smartest guys around, but that's twisted, too. As much as you'd like to give up the mantle of the bat, face it...it has you. You'll never give up.

Wonder Woman. This is sort of unfair, since she's really the expression of all the sexual fantasies of all the male artists who've ever drawn her. Bigger than life...bigger than the biggest triple-D cup...a woman who almost would have to be a dominatrix because no ordinary man could "tame" her. She's the woman who guys want to be tied up by, with that golden lasso what makes you tell the truth (about how bad you've been...and how much you need to be punished...and...). Wonder Woman is a guy's desire to be controlled and have a blast doing it. Most women say a bust size like that just gives them backaches.

There are a lot more heroes we could cover, but except for Wonder Woman (no woman really fantasizes about being her, do they?), we can see a pattern. Being a superhero at it's most basic level means having strength to control an externalized "bad guy". In Batman's case, there's a certain amount of control by being smart, but in the end, you still get to beat your opponent to a pulp.

Look at your own life for a second. Chances are, there are some things (or people) over which you'd like to take control. Chances are, there are some things you feel you have no control over at all. A simple example is how you'd really like to respond to the driver who cuts you off during your commute to work. Think of anything that frustrates you in life. How would you like to deal with it if you could? How would you like to deal with it if you had "the power"? Is this one reason we like our superheroes...because they can control things in a way we can only dream of?

Reflections

Note: Click on any of the embedded images to see a larger version.

I was reading an online copy of the first Atom comic book, published in 1961 and drawn by the fantastic Gil Kane. I'd read the story before, but something struck me as peculiar this time around.

In the origin story, scientist Ray Palmer is trying to discover how to shrink objects in size and return them to normal. The idea is that you could ship tons of food and other goods much more inexpensively if you could reduce their size for transport first, then grow them back to original size at the destination. Unfortunately, everything he shrinks explodes. Work isn't going so well.

His girlfriend, Jean Loring, is an attorney and Ray remarks that she's so smart, she "breezed through law school in two years." Ray seems to be experiencing a bit of an inferiority complex where Jean's intellect is concerned, but he's determined to "prove himself" as a research scientist and thus be worthy of marrying her.

The interesting catch is, even though Jean is so smart and has, so far, successfully established herself in a legal career, she refuses to marry Ray because she wants to prove herself as an attorney before giving up her legal career and settling down to marry Ray!"

The story was written in 1961 when women were still primarily objects to be rescued in the comic books and in other forms of entertainment. It never occurred to the writers or probably to the prepubescent male readers of the book, that a woman could be married and maintain a successful career.

Before you accuse DC comics of being raw-meat-eating sexists, remember, this is 1961 and the comic book was merely a reflection of the prevailing attitudes of society at the time (though I don't doubt that individual, real-life women chaffed at that attitude).

Comic books, like films, television, novels, and any other art form or entertainment venue, are mirrors of the attitudes and perspectives of the age in which they are created. That's why a comic book created in 1961 seems so archaic to us now, especially compared to the themes expressed in modern comics.

Just jump ahead to 1971 and the now famous Green Lantern/Green Arrow tale: Snowbirds Don't Fly. Green Arrow's (Oliver Queen's) former sidekick Speedy is discovered to be a heroin addict. Drug abuse and addiction had almost never been explored in comic books before (Spider-Man explored pill addiction a few months earlier and lost their Comics Code Authority Seal for those issues as a result), since it was deemed inappropriate for children.

Yet the stage was set for comic books to be more than entertainment and, read now more commonly by high school and college age audiences, was a platform for education. Of course, comic books had always educated the people who read them, relative to the societal norms of the time, hence Jean's reluctance to get married, since, in 1961, it automatically meant she'd have to give up her career, regardless of her intelligence and success.

Since that time, many other social issues have made their way into the comic books. Northstar of Alpha Flight (showcased in the X-Men) became the world's first openly gay comic book character. I found an example of comic characters who are HIV positive at Nerve.com. It seems that, in the early 21st century, there are few, if any topics that comic book's won't address as "obscene" or "inappropriate" for readers.

Once the barrier was broken, the flood waters rushed in. While nudity and "sexual situations" are still (barely) avoided in mainstream comics, comic books are at least approximating the events we can read about in the mainstream media (including the blogosphere). Comics are reflections of our times and right now, our norms include a fairly free flow of information, even to younger audiences (and what would a reader of Wonder Woman in the 1960s think of her now?).

Before leaving this topic, I wanted to present the modern world's most famous example of a successful career woman married to a superhero. I'm sure you all know who I'm talking about. With no powers of her own, she still manages to be an equal in just about every way to her husband Clark, and his cape wearing alter ego.

Pax.