That was horrible.
Well, maybe not horrible, but I wouldn't have rented it had I known I'd be watching an extra-long version of Smallville.
Here we have high school alien from another planet whose powers are developing as he's getting older. He has to keep his secret and, being raised on Earth, he feels more human than alien. He just wants a normal life with a normal girlfriend. He doesn't want his powers or to be hunted down by every evil alien with an ugly face and destructive energy weapons.
Except for the fact that the guy was blond, he really could have been Clark Kent. The majority of the film took place in "Paradise, Ohio", which certainly could have doubled for Smallville, Kansas. Lots and lots of high school angst, being bullied by the Captain of the football team, wanting to take him apart with his super powers, wanting to play "smootchy-face with his cute, blond girlfriend (everyone is so blond..at least his best friend Sam has dark hair), and so on.
I know a lot of fans of the now-ended Smallville TV show wanted a Smallville movie made. Wish granted. Just watch I am Number Four. In fact, since the film ended just begging for a sequel (or sequels), you could have Smallville-like film experiences for years to come.
OK, Clark didn't have a "Krypto" dog on Smallville, but John, our friendly, hunky, handsome (funny how people who have evolved on another planet can look so human) alien has a beagle who, when the chips are down, morphs into a big alien critter who takes on the bad guys' alien critter. Also, another last minute save is the appearance of a motorcycle riding British "Number Six", blond counterpart to surfer-alien John.
I could go on, but why bother. I wasted a perfectly good bowl of popcorn on this movie. It can't get it back to the rental store fast enough. I will not be watching "I am Number Four-Two".
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